BLACK CAT

BLACK CAT

               I woke up sweating.  The truth came in a feeling that washed over me.  I couldn’t have the young woman from the bus.  She was too pretty, too educated, too passionate about literature and too incredibly perfect.  All I could think about was how firm she was in her opinions, how strong she was in the feminine way, and how much I wanted a woman like that.  I needed to get some booze.

               I said “hey” to my roommate on my way out, quietly and full of shame, as usual.  Would I be going out for a walk or would I be succumbing to my sinful nature?

               But I was depressed.  It was time for sin.

               I shut the door gently behind me and walked down the cobblestone path toward the sidewalk.  About half way there a black cat appeared out from beneath a car and stood directly in my path.

               Just my luck, I figured.  A black cat undeniably in my path.  The creature wasn’t crossing, it was forcing itself into my life.  My only options were to jump sideways or scare it away.

               I must not have had the heart.  I thought to myself that the black cat crossing your path folklore was just a bullshit myth.

               “Hey,” I said to it in a soft voice.

               It jumped a little, was scared at first.  Then it showed some courage and stood firm.

               “What are you doing?” I asked, still soft.  “Come here.”

               It came right up to me.  I stood still and it circled around me, brushing its sides up against my sweatpants, scratching and caressing and pressing its head into my legs.

               “You wanna get pet or something?”

               It kept circling so I reached down slowly so it could see me.  It gave me its back, then its neck, then behind its ears and its head and finally the spot right in front of its tail, the place all dogs and some cats really enjoy getting scratched.  It kept circling in such a way that forced me to stop petting it so I wouldn’t get near its butthole and private parts.  You can’t get too close to those or they bite.

               I said, “I guess some people think you’re unlucky.  But I don’t.”

               Then it rolled over, signaling to me it wanted me to pet its belly.  I didn’t.  Just because a cat says it wants its belly scratched, doesn’t mean it wants that now.  Cats aren’t like dogs in this way.  A dog gives you its belly and trusts you with it immediately.  A cat is smaller and only has its claws and small mouth to defend itself with.  All dogs, no matter the size (except for the tiny ones) are stupid and think they can kill you with their mouths in almost any situation.  They don’t understand that a strong man with guts can force his hand or forearm deeper into a dogs mouth, and as the dog bites down harder, the man can use his knee or another part of his body as a leverage point underneath the dog’s neck, before bringing his second arm around the backside of its skull in order to snap its neck and kill it.  A cat instinctually feels its own vulnerability and upon just meeting you won’t let you touch its underside.  If you try that straight away it will claw and/or bite you.  Not fatal, but that shit fucking hurts.

               I showed the cat I understood its position, what it meant.  That maybe later I could pet its belly.  I continued to scratch its side, its back, its head.  I got it behind the ears, which is more of a dog thing, again, but some cats like that too.  With dogs you really dig in deep and it drives them crazy.  That spot is almost orgasmic for a dog but for a cat they either like it mildly or not at all.  I didn’t get the top of the cat’s nose because we weren’t that close yet.

               I showed it I was afraid to directly touch its belly and it understood.  It pawed me with its back right foot (so I wouldn’t see it coming) but the paw was without any extended claws.  This meant it was okay for me to touch its belly.  I got it a few times, but I could tell by the way it was kicking its legs (albeit playfully) that I shouldn’t get too passionate about the belly stroking.  It extended its claws with its front two paws to show me.

               I told it I had to go.  I stopped petting it and started to walk toward the sidewalk again and it ran into my foot.

               “I’m sorry!” I said bent over toward it.  “I didn’t mean to kick you.”

               It started circling me again and rubbing.  We weren’t done.

               Finally I was able to get some space and I started walking down the sidewalk toward the bars.  It followed me.

               “Fuckin’ weirdo,” I said to it.

               It kept following me.

               “You wanna go on walks and shit?” I said and laughed.

               It walked right alongside me.  I pictured walking it down my street on a leash.  Some gypsy looking dude laughed at us and walked into his house.  I wondered how long he had been watching us.

               Eventually the cat stopped and watched me continue to walk down toward the corner.  We were done.  “Maybe I’ll see you around,” I said and headed for downtown and the bars.