Wine Country Liberals

Wine Country Liberals

                I hated work.  I was surrounded by a bunch of Wine Country liberals and Garth Brooks  fans.  It was difficult to make excuses for the circle jerks I constantly had to witness among them.

                I came out of my office, drunk, as usual.  I saw somebody stuffing a cooler into the back of a Subaru Outback.   There was another Subaru parked next to it.  I looked around and noticed that the only cars parked around me were Subaru’s and Mercedes’.  One poor ass dipshit who couldn’t quite keep up had a Honda Accord.

                Then the other hatch of the other Subaru opened.  Beach blankets and inner tubes and various other camping supplies were packed in there.  A happy looking woman with a cross around her neck started putting grocery bags from Safeway into the back.

                I spit on the concrete in disgust.  Safeway’s where I go when I need mediocre food at a mediocre price.

                Three young children were following the happy woman.  They were running around without their leashes, almost getting hit by cars.  Someone in a dangerously sized truck almost hit one of the harder to see children, and after slamming on the breaks, honked their horn at the happy woman and her ducklings.

                “Looks like someone’s going camping!” the driver of the hazardous truck said.

                “Yup!” the ducklings called out, jumping up and down with joy.

                “Yes!” the happy woman exclaimed, “We’re going to Lake Berryessa!  We’re bringing our mountain bikes and our kayaks!  And in the afternoons we’re going to barbeque hotdogs and hamburgers.  And we’ve even brought several bottles of two liter sodas – Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper – for the kids!”

                The kids jumped up and down and screamed again.

                “Are we going to roast marshmallows?” the fat kid asked.

                The happy woman reached into the nearest Safeway bag and tossed a bag of marshmallows to the fat one.  The kids jumped around, screaming with excitement.

                “Don’t open the bag yet, they’ll go stale!” the happy woman warned.

                “We know!” they replied and continued to jump around.

                I dropped my cigarette and went back into my office and took a hit off the bottle.  Nobody saw.