Aziz I'msorry

Aziz I’msorry

                The first time I saw you I thought you were somewhat plain looking.  I’m sorry.

                But then you showed me your camera and I’m in to photography as well so I thought that was pretty cool.  We all want to have people in our life we have shit in common with.  So I thought, what the hell?  Maybe this chick will want to go on a date with me.  So I got your number.

                We went to dinner and you told me you didn’t like white wine.  I thought maybe you’d enjoy a particular brand of white wine I like.  I thought we could have something else in common besides photography.  I mean, we both like wine.  But I guess you didn’t like the wine I like.  I’m sorry.

                Maybe you were expecting dinner to last longer.  I thought I could make you happy if we went back to my apartment.  I’m sorry if dinner didn’t last as long as you wanted.  I’m sorry.

                Then you came with me back to my luxurious apartment.  You seemed happy.  We started making out.  Then I took off your pants and went down on you.  The orgasm seemed pretty intense.  Was it too intense?  I’m sorry.

                Then I asked you if you wanted to fuck while I read passages of Fifty Shades of Grey.  I guess you thought that was too kinky and weird.  I’m sorry.

                So I said, “What if we just watch t.v. with our clothes on?”

                Was that too much?  I’m sorry.

                I know what I should have done, in hindsight.  I should have run away, far away, as soon as you declined my Fifty Shades offer.  I should have let you have my apartment, let you live there for free.   I should have let you keep my extensive wine collection, eat all the food in my fridge and let your boyfriend move in with you while I paid rent for the two of you.  But I suggested you call a cab instead.  You cried as you left.

                I’m sorry.

-          Aziz